Till Death Do Us Part
by ToKnowNotAWord
Summary: Ivan and Alfred are a happy couple...they just also happen to be a bit, well, dead. They spent what time they had together in their short lives tending to their garden. When their house is sold to a family with questionable tastes, they are wiling to do anything to get them out once and for all. Rusame with a Beetlejuice AU Other pairings: Fruk and slight Prucan


Alfred picked underneath his nails, numbly listening to the radio static coming from downstairs. He would often catch himself lazily gazing every now and again at the sunrise that peeked through the crooked blindfolds. Losing himself for hours to the sight of the dust glittering through the rays of light.

The couch creaked as Alfred shifted his weight ever so slightly to the side. His full attention now on a wrapped, blob-shaped object that was snuggled in his protective embrace. The sunflower wrapping paper, though thoughtfully picked out, was nearly incomprehensible due to his clumsy packaging technique. Meaning that an entire roll of tape had been piled onto the crinkled surface, the wrapping paper ever so slowly uprooting the duct tape that had been used in vain to keep the edges down.

The creator of the "wrapped" abomination sighed. The day was not going as he had planned.

Today had been the start of the Braginsky-Jones' two-week vacation.

It had taken Alfred many exhausting late nights that had required an unholy dosage of six 5-hour energy drinks in his pocket and an extra ten scoops of sugar in his coffee during his breaks.

…There was also the part where he found himself desperately begging on his knees for an IOU, while his coworker smiled with an intensity that was uncharacterizable large for this apathetic man. His dark soulless eyes leaving stinging burn marks into his soul…

A cold shiver went through his spine at the thought.

Ivan, in turn, had _promised_ that he would hold off on any last-minute appointments, no matter who was knocking on the door.

However, life's a little bitch,…or perhaps that was just his sister-in-law?

Yesterday, they had not so coincidentally been visited by Natalya, carrying the world record on the largest pair puppy eyes and using words that dripped in honey.

The ever so classic 'Sister and I have not seen you in so long, big brother' guilt trip that had never failed to leave Ivan's heart melting into a gooey pile on the floor, while Alfred rolled his eyes till they fell into the back of his head.

The day had been drilled into his mind to an extent where there was now a gaping hole that threatened his daily functions. Today had been stalking his mind for months, leaving him in a dream-like state of existence that left the workplace seething.

Getting his hopes up, making plans, they always lead full circle into a never-ending stream of disappointment. This was why he leaned into life with a bit more spontaneity.

Today was supposed to be filled with giggles in the kitchen as they made a breakfast that they _knew_ could last a full week as leftovers. Throwing flour at each other's faces and lightly joking about their cultural dishes.

They would have been later found groaning on the floor, laughing at how stupid they were to have attempted to eat the entire homemade buffet within an hour.

There was supposed to be playful banter as they tended to their garden. Ivan would chastise how carelessly dirty Alfred would get, to which Alfred would smugly respond to by smearing the mud on his hands over Ivan's favorite gardening apron.

Then maybe afterwards, Alfred would run up the stairs and slyly suggest a shower, his husband would stand blushing at the bottom of the steps.

Ivan would pursue him upstairs, follow him into the shower, and turn the water temperature up to ungodly hot levels. Ivan, for some odd reason, cannot tolerate showers any other way, even though it makes his pale skin turn into an irritated mosaic of red, pink, and white.

Their bodies would be under the steaming water, he would go to press up against Ivan, rub their slick bodies together, he'd reach down slowly for his husband's big throbbing co-

A gushing Alfred was snapped quickly from his erotic fantasies by the sound of a door squeaking open and being hurriedly slammed shut. The familiar sound of heavy footsteps thumping their way up the wooden stairwell had forced Alfred into a crazed frenzy.

He rolled off the couch in an instant, tan skin slapping painfully loud against the hardwood, squirreling his wrapped gift under the couch. He reeled back and scrambled over to the window. He quietly winced as he stood and placed his hand on his newly bruised hip in a pose-like fashion.

"Hey, babe." Alfred coolly said.

Ivan leaned onto the doorframe, chuckling between breaths as he looked up at Alfred's similarly disheveled appearance. Ivan took long staggered steps and enveloped Alfred into a tight hug.

Ivan pulled away for a moment to plant a kiss on Alfred's lips. It was a chaste, short lived. It made Ivan's heart began throbbing in a particularly painful way, a large toothy smile began stretching across his tired face. The sight made Alfred's smile deepen. Their large grins awkwardly pressed together for another kiss, their lips refusing to fall back into a puckered state.

"WAIT! IVAN, DON'T! ACK!" Alfred shrieked as was lifted from the ground.

Playful hits were placed on the attacker's back in a halfhearted attempt to be put down. This did not, in any form, delay the inevitable.

Ivan tightly squeezed and shook the smaller man around. Alfred's back made a loud popping noise, followed by pained screaming.

"Dammit! I told you that I am too old for that!" he hissed as he wrapped his legs around Ivan's waist, caressing his own back with one hand.

"Fedya, need I remind you again that you are only 25?" Ivan grinned, an eyebrow quirking up at his husband's dramatics.

"Yeah, sorry, I forgot for a second that _you_ were the old man!"

Ivan puffed his cheeks. "I am only a bit older than you!"

"It's all fine and dandy" Alfred sweetly said, drawling out his accent, as he stared unwaveringly into Ivan's violet eyes. "It just means that you will die first. _Then_ , oh lordy, then I can thank whatever god out there that I won't have to eat your disgusting soup ever again!"

Alfred gave a curt nod once he finished his completely bullshit master plan.

Ivan walked over to the couch and placed Alfred on his backside. Ivan grinned menacingly at the figure beneath him.

"Is that so?" Ivan mused as he placed all his weight on Alfred, leaning closer to his husband's face. "Age doesn't really have a factor if you, I don't know, consider the fact that I could just run you over with your hideous pickup truck?"

Alfred scrunched his face in horror. "How dare you insult Annie!"

He squinted up with teary eyes. "She's just a baby…leave her out of this!"

A tiny snort was made in the direction of Alfred's half-hearted glare.

Guttural laughter broke from both of their throats, leaving the both of them wheezing for air.

Gasping for breath, Alfred pushes Ivan's off and glances his figure over with a smile.

"I am still mad, yah know!"

"I know, I know, I broke the promise, but you must admit that I held out pretty well until the end!" Noticing the American's unchanging neutral face of displeasure, he quickly slides in " I can make it up to you!"

"How're yah going to do that, big guy?"

"Well, I-"

 _BANG BANG BANG_

Both men exchange equally perplexed glances.

Ivan glances warily at Alfred, who was racing over to window. The blinds rattled as Alfred ripped them aside for a better vantage point.

There it was. A yellow bug parked snugly next to good ol' Annie in the driveway.

"Are you _fucking_ kidding me!?"

AN: First story! This will be a loosely based BeetleJuice crossover (never too late for Halloween amiright *nudgenudge*) and I look forward to the long journey ahead! Haha, give a good guess as to whose Beetle Juice! It seemed like the perfect character casting to me!


End file.
